Life Lessons: Lessons Learned in 30 Years of Life

Happy Birthday Darling! Today, I celebrate THIRTY years of being alive... what a blessing. So, I didn't celebrate turning thirty with the all white party, I loosely envision, partly because my friends and family don't live in my town and I felt a bit nostalgic. Instead, I went on a gratefulness walk with my son at one of my favorite local parks, and we had a nice family dinner at Old Mill. 

I wanted to commemorate turning thirty by sharing some important life lessons I have learned along the way. 

- One -

 Family is everything. 

- Two -

 Things do happen for a reason and life makes sense backwards. God + The Universe have your back. Trust the journey.

- Three -

 Things do not bring you lasting happiness + contentment;  inner peace does. 

- Four -

Gratitude will change your life. Your heart will feel so full when you truly appreciate what you have. 

- Five -

Trust your heart. It is your compass.

- Six -

Be open to change. Resistance to change creates a while to of pain. 

- Seven -

Be a student of life. 

- Eight -

 Not knowing is perfectly okay. The answers will come to you when the moment is right. 

- Nine -

Accept what is and let go of the rest ... it’s so easy to get down when our present is not playing out how we wanted or expected. Just let go. Surrender. 

- Ten -

Tell people what is in your heart without fearing how they will react. It's liberating.

- Eleven -

 Don't take things personally. When someone treats you poorly, it's all a reflection of their life and the struggles they are facing.

- Twelve -

Be kind to everyone. Be warm and welcoming... just like my great-grand-ma "mama".

- Thirteen -

 Time heals.

- Fourteen -

 Nothing lasts forever. Embrace each season of life. Take all the good and all the lessons with you. 

- Fifteen -

 Ask why and listen. Really listen. Asking why is the first step to creating common ground/understanding. 

- Sixteen -

 The blissful innocence of childhood is everything. Recapture the bliss...

- Seventeen -

 Write things down. 

- Eighteen -

Embrace the now. Nothing is ever the same and nothing will ever be the same. Today will never be again. 

- Nineteen -

 Don't take EVERYTHING so seriously. 

 - Twenty -

Don't hide your bliss. 

- Twenty-One -

 Process your emotions. Take the time to feel what you're feeling and than release.

- Twenty-Two -

 Learn from your children. They come into your life to teach you more than you could ever teach them. They are pure and their inner compass has not yet been recked by parental or societal expectations. 

- Twenty-Three -

Your example speaks for itself. It's louder than words.

- Twenty-Four -

 Take care of yourself first. An empty vessel can't care for or nourish others.  

 - Twenty-Five -

Start now. 

- Twenty-Six -

Get out of your head. 

-Twenty-Seven-

 The work we do within is the most important work we can ever do. 

- Twenty-Eight -

Take ownership of your life. Take ownership of your contentment. Don't grant anyone, but yourself the responsibility of your happiness. 

- Twenty-Nine -

Take the time to get to know yourself.

- Thirty -

  Be you. You are enough Darling! 

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Cheers to my thirties! May I continue to love, learn and grow.

Xx, Rocio 

Life Lessons | Six Life Lessons I Learned in 2016

Hope this blog post finds you well! Today, I share with you the biggest life lessons I learned in 2016. 

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1.      Prioritize Self-Care

The idea of self-care may seem self-fish, but it’s rooted in self-love and love for others. Half-way through last year, I made it a point to add a few self-serving + self- indulging practices into my every day. As a new(ish) mom, I went from having so much time on my hands, to having no time (at all) to myself.  After becoming a mom, it was hard to pick up and juggle working full-time, caring + nurturing my family, and doing  everything on my to-do list. I found myself running ragged + tired and at times frustrated because I had personal interests + goals I wanted to accomplish and no time left in my day to so.  In general, as women + moms, we tend to put our needs and desires last, without realizing that we are doing ourselves, our families, and the people around us disservice. 

 Creating space in our days to recharge ourselves is critical because we cannot give to others something we don’t have.  Self-care + recharging our energies will take different forms for everyone, so it’s important to realize what each one of us needs and desires.  Last year, I became very intentional about carving out time to go on walks, journal, blog, practice yoga + pilates, meditate and take more baths.  I may not do all of the above every single day, but I am carving time for myself daily. As a result, I’m more joyous.  Self-care is a practice I am looking to grow this year and beyond. 

2.        Gratitude is Life Changing

My gratitude practice has progressively increased over the past couple years, but it was really in 2016 when I noticed a shift take place. As I focused more on the aspects of my life that felt really right (the important people in my life, myself, my joys, blessings, my present...), as a result, I felt more joy, satisfaction and peace.

3.      Be Open-Minded

 I thought I was open-minded and I am, don’t get me wrong, but I have been really focusing on being even more open minded and not making judgments of someone’s situation(s) as we really don’t know the circumstances that shape someone’s decisions and actions.  “Cada cabeza es un mundo.”  My goal here is to try to understand where people are coming from prior to making up my mind – so I’m striving to ask more questions and to listen with an open heart. Am I perfect at this practice? Nope. But awareness is the first step. 

4.      Appreciate + Admire without Comparing or Internalizing

 Comparison just destroys all the joy that we could ever experience. In this age of Instagram and Pinterest pages, it’s really easy to compare and feel down about where we are in our journey, but it’s really important to remember that those Pinterest pages and Instagram feeds are someone’s highlights. It’s really important to put things into perspective and know that most likely it’s taken someone a lot of work and hours to build those beautiful feeds and perceived lives.  We must also remember that our circumstances, priorities, goals, interests, and our season of life, most likely are completely different than someone else. I love this quote by Jon Acuff, “Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle”.  

5.      It’s OKAY to Not Know

In the past few years, I had really struggled with the idea of “figuring out what to do with my life” when it came to the career front.  The so called “quarter life crisis” is real my friends. The “not knowing” was tripping me up so hard, that I wanted to put starting a family on hold until I figured out what I wanted to do with my life (fair, right!?). In retrospect, I’m so thankful I decided not to wait any longer because motherhood has been my biggest blessing yet and it has brought me a new found appreciation for the present moment.   It wasn’t until I surrendered and decided that I may not figure this “career thing” out in one or two years (or ever), so why put other aspects of my life on hold?!  

Granting myself permission, to accept that it is perfectly okay to not know, was so liberating.  I realized that I don’t need to be “xy or z”… because I already am. And just in case you’re wondering --no-- I have not figured out what my dream career would be and I’m not letting that steal the joy from this moment and all the wonderful things that feel so right with my life now. 

6.    My Heart is my Compass

"Listen to your heart and it will show you the way." As cliche as that may sound, it is soo true my friends. From a very own age, grown ups, peers, and society, teach us to tame the calling of our hearts and to rationalize + be realistic.  So as we rationalize every single decision and ignore our heart's calling, it is harder to listen to our inner calling, and as a result we become unhappy. 

So how do we stop this cycle? Start listening to that tiny voice inside you!!  I found that spending time with myself in a quite place, reflecting, meditating and journaling have been huge. My thoughts, desires, passions, and perhaps, my calling, have become more clear to me and as a result, I'm more joyful too. 

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These realizations were life changing and I look forward to continuing these practices in 2017 and forever after.  Hope some of these resonate with you where ever you may be in your own journey. 

Xx,

Rocio

Life Lessons | My Child Taught Me

Today, Alexander turned 18 months. Happy 18 months to Xander --and us (mami and daddy)!!

If I had to choose one word to sum up the last 18 months, it would be growth. Our family literally grew from being just Allan and me, to being our little family of three.  The first year of Xander’s life was a really steep learning curve for all of us (especially me). Adjusting to life with a baby takes a lot of work, patience, learning, adjusting, trial + error (lots of trial and error), re-learning and re-adjusting. Some days (and weeks) were harder than others, but I would not change a thing.  In the last 18 months, I have learned so much about myself, my child, from my child, and from our family + couple dynamics. The learning curve was steep and so was the growth experienced.

One of my absolute favorite things of being a mother has been to view the world through my child’s eyes.  Viewing the world through Xander’s eyes has been amazing + refreshing and I want to capture these moments, feelings and lessons learned because I really do not want to forget.

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Here are some life lessons Xander has taught me… (or reminded me)

Be Fearless // fearLESS

Xander has been a very busy and fearless guy from a very young age. Crawling, cruising, taking the first steps, learning how to walk (and wanting to go down stairs like a big boy at 11 months) takes a lot of courage. Letting go and falling (many, many times), getting up and trying, again and again, is a lesson I never want us (Xander and I) to forget. 

When Xander was 9 months old, we visited the Philippines (it was a trip of a lifetime) and Xander’s first time experiencing the ocean.  Xander seemed to be amazed by the body of water in front of him and by the sounds coming from it.  I took him to the shore to get his little feet wet, then went back out and sat down on the sand. He loved playing with the sand. He grabbed the sand, looked at it, felt it, and watched it slip out of his hands (he did it again)… and this play went on for a while. After he was done playing with the sand, he stopped for a while to just stare at the ocean and take it all in. Shortly after, he began to crawl towards the water.  I watched him crawl towards the ocean until the small waves wet his little hands, knees and toes. Then, I helped him get up and together we walked a little further into the water.

As his mom, watching the joy on his face was priceless. The beauty of small children is that they don’t have a concept of fear, they are constantly learning from the world around them, and they are not afraid of falling, getting up and trying again. I don’t know at what age children learn fear, but I do know, I want to foster an environment where Xander (and my future children) are not afraid to try due to fear of “failure”. If we didn’t try (many, many times), we wouldn’t be able to master a skill we learn from a very young age… such as walking.  So we must walk through life with the conviction that skill and mastery takes many, many trials.

Be Adventurous  

Xander is the most adventurous little guy I know. He constantly reminds me that life is an adventure. Go adventure. Go explore. Go discover. 

Be Curious

He loves to explore everything around him. The curiosity and imagination of children is truly powerful beyond measure.

Be Assertive 

I have never met a tiny, little fella who is as assertive as Xander. He constantly reminds me to be self-assured and not seek external approval.

Be Persistent

Xander doesn't give up easily. He is very persistent, which makes for very interesting moments (learning patience is a virtue we have yet to master! It's a work in progress).  Nonetheless, persistence is a very important skill he knows all too well. 

Be Joyful

Xander is such a happy child. His smile brightens-up my world and his laughter is contagious. Children are so joyful/blissful/happy just because.

Be Loving

Xander is really sweet too.... He loves mami + daddy, puppies, children and people in general... And he gives us (Allan + I) the most awesome hugs (pretty much the best part of my day).

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As parents, it is important that we help our children preserve “The-Child-With-In”.

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Growth has truly marked the last 18 months of our lives and I’m so ready to continue embracing this path. From my experience, parenthood is slightly easier if we take some of the pressure off and recognize that we are all learning as we go and that all the answers we seek will appear when the moment is right. 

Xx, 

Rocio